Driving (miles, cost and time)

It goes without saying (and yet here I go, saying it anyway) that maths are not my favorite bedfellow, classmate or cohort, which might be part of the appeal of writing about numbers every day. If we're not scaring ourselves just a little each day, by accidental coincidence or purposeful risk taking, then where's the challenge? If there's not a challenge, how do we grow? Given that as my lonely disclaimer (oh don't worry about him, he'll have plenty of company as time wears on) most of these calculations (if they can be called that) are done quickly, with a calculator, lacking empirical data or supporting research. In short, this is mostly guesswork. Entertaining guesswork, I hope, but guesswork none the less. Where there are no guessworks, there are complete fabrications.

So let's start with this hypothesis: If I was driving, say, 1000 miles a day instead of writing 1000 words, what would that look like?

The simplest way to break it down (in terms of first post and all that) is by cost. Now while I drive (and certainly, I am driven) I'll reassure you the numbers I'll put together are not from the perspective of "car guy" but of "casual driver." I know a few things about cars. I know where to put the key, (the door, steering column, et al). I know how to refill the windshield fluid and I've changed headlights when they burn out... I've even installed new brake pads but that was with help of a more dedicated "car guy" type. Point being, these equations are done without research and without fact checking from the friendly neighborhood internet so bare (bear? beer?) with me.

Assuming my car (which is newish, give or take... an '04 Hyundai, but the year is me guessing yet again) gets 32 miles to the gallon (which is close enough, assuming I'm freeway driving which would be the most efficient way of making it 1000 miles) it would take approximately 31 and a quarter gallons of gas. If we apply the cost of petrol (at the rate of my most recent fill up) which was $1.719, my 1000 miles would cost about $53.72. Here's some perspective on that: My last job paid just above the minimum wage hike at $7.25 per hour. In pre-tax dollars, I would need to be "on the clock" (but not necessarily doing any actual work, as is customary for my people) for 7 and 1/2 hours, nearly a full day of ringing up books and pushing memberships. According to these figures, 1000 miles then = 1 workday (minus 2 fifteen minute breaks, which were paid and a lunch, which was not.)

But this brings an element of time into the equation. And here things begin to get difficult. In order to afford my 1000 miles, I would also need sustain my hourly rate of $7.25 an hour, albeit it seven days a week instead of five. (That's at least 16 hours of pay and half for over time, but we won't included those calculations in this exercise... at least not for the first post) and "put in" about 8 hours a day, including either my breaks 15 minutes or my unpaid half hour lunch. The national average for speed limits is 65 miles per hour (and I can't provide a citation for this figure as I just recently made it up off the top of my head.) So we'll play along with my imagination and assume I'm a law abiding traveller. It would take about fifteen and a half hours to travel 1000 miles at that speed. 15 and a half plus an 8 hour day equals 23 and a half hours a day. That leaves 30 precious minutes for sleeping, eating, showering, sending text messages, playing video games, having a beer, seeing live music, drinking coffee with an espresso shot added, and brushing my teeth.* Like Lincoln said, it's not the amount of years in your life that matters, it's the amount of life in your years. I can not simply give up the rest of it, just because I'm driving 1000 miles per day and doing so without stealing gas.

*We assume here I'm doing none of the above while either driving or working, but in my remaining 30 minutes of "personal time." As I previously articulated, law abiding. That's me.

But alas, even my wordsmithy brain knows these numbers are off. As unrealistic as this might seem to you, the unrealism (which is not a video game inspired religion, although it should be... someday) boggles the mind.

The numbers don't reflect the reality (O were that they would!). That equation assumes, of course, that I'm driving at the same speed and in the same direction. It assumes there is no other traffic on the road and that I'm able to maintain 65 miles per hour uninterrupted by other motorists or other inconveniences. It assumes I don't need lavatory use and I shudder to think of what likelihood that portends, be it holding the piss and shit in or installing a catheter.

Thus we come to the conclusion, and neither of us can pretend we didn't see it coming.

There's something pure and undiluted about numbers in this regard. Sterile and cold. Pretty to look at and accurate enough given their limitations, yet the numbers fail to reflect the reality of the experiment. They present an inability to refuel, which creates a paradox as the tank only holds 12 to 15 gallons. I'm just guessing here that a refueling tanker (like what fighter jets use, up in the air) would be more expensive than $1.719 a gallon, and as I'm just barely breaking even, it would be unwise to pay more for something which exists cheaper.

But maybe I'm just blaming the numbers as scapegoat for what is clearly a flaw in logic and evidence. Maybe the numbers are easy to pick on in that way, especially when we don't like our results.